The Patron Saint of Instagram Influencers

[Insert Kardashian joke here]

Kenneth Bell
3 min readAug 31, 2021
Author Unknown — Public Domain

When it comes to the career of an Instagram influencer, you already know the deal. Take lots of pictures. Gain a following. Go viral. Get paid. Transition into an acting or music career with varying degrees of success. Do something stupid and preventable. Get canceled. Lose endorsements. Remind the world that you’re a Christian. Leak sex tape. Watch career die in real-time on the next episode of a game show’s “celebrity edition.”

Most of you reading this already recognize the man in the photo. If you’re American, that’s abolitionist, author, statesman, and white kryptonite, Frederick Douglass.

But what are his feats? Who he’d flex on so hard that he gets a Medium article? How is Douglass the patron saint of an app infested with pre-midlife crisis clout chasers?

Frederick Douglass was the most photographed American of the 19th Century.

Clocking in at 160 photos, Douglass’ portrait was the muse for the 1st generation of photographers. Douglass’ life was so legendary that one comedy article is not enough to do it justice. To understand why he ranks number one in pre-internet vanity metrics, let’s examine three of his feats…

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Kenneth Bell

Copywriter. Fiction Writer. Bad Career Advice Writer. Some humor thrown in for good measure.